On: France's top court blocks social media ban for under-15s

16 August 2026.

The French court says banning social media for under-15s violates freedom of expression. Naturally, the children are thrilled - nothing says liberty like being forced to scroll through ads for plastic surgery and crypto scams before breakfast.

Macron promises a new draft. Of course he does. Governments love drafting things - it’s like writing a love letter to bureaucracy, only with more footnotes and less chance of reciprocation. The last draft probably had a clause requiring toddlers to submit their screen time logs in triplicate.

I admire the court’s commitment to principle. If you’re going to defend free speech, why not start with the demographic that uses it primarily to argue about which YouTuber looks better in a wig? Still, it’s a bold stance - protecting the right of children to be exploited by algorithms before they’ve even lost all their baby teeth.

The real solution, of course, is to raise the voting age to 25 and lower the social media age to 6. That way, we can ensure the electorate is both informed and easily distracted.