On: US-Iran ceasefire negociations underway in Switzerland

June 21, 2026.

The United States and Iran are currently in Switzerland to negotiate a ceasefire. I have always found Switzerland to be the ideal location for a peace conference; it is the only country where the mountains are high, the taxes are low, and the citizens are neutral enough to watch a house burn down while admiring the symmetry of the flames.

The delegation includes the President’s son-in-law. This is a masterstroke of diplomacy. If you cannot settle a blood feud with a stranger, the next best thing is to bring in a relative who has experience settling a real estate commission. It is a well-known fact that nothing brings two warring nations together like the shared desire to get out of a room containing a man in a well-tailored suit.

They say these talks have been revived by a lull in Lebanon. A ceasefire is a marvelous invention. It allows both sides to stop shooting long enough to realize they’ve run out of ammunition and need to go home to manufacture more. It is the intermission of war, provided by the management so the audience can buy popcorn before the tragedy resumes in the second act.

I wish them every success. I once negotiated a truce between my laundryman and my tailor, and today I am the proud owner of a shirt with no sleeves and a pair of trousers that can only be worn while standing in a closet. If these diplomats are half as successful, the world will be in excellent shape, though we may all have to move to the basement. I would join the peace movement myself, but I’m afraid they might accept me, and I have a standing rule against participating in any harmony I didn’t personally invent to annoy my neighbors.