Iran war: US to escort ships through the Strait of Hormuz

August 14th, 19xx

The news this morning speaks of ships, of a strait, of escorts. “Project Freedom,” they call it, a name that echoes with a certain hollow grandeur. It is a map, of course, this project, laid over the territory of the Strait of Hormuz. But the map, in its ambition to “free up” the ships, creates its own labyrinth.

I recall a passage, perhaps from the Lexicon of Apocryphal Geographies, volume III, under “Hormuz, Strait of,” attributed to a certain cartographer, one Al-Idrisi the Younger, writing in the 13th century. He describes a similar situation, not of ships, but of currents. The currents, he posited, were so numerous and so intertwined that any attempt to chart them all resulted in a chart that was itself subject to the very currents it sought to represent. The lines drawn to denote flow became, in effect, new currents, altering the sea itself. The map, in its desire to encompass the reality, became part of the reality, and in doing so, invalidated its own initial premise.

This “Project Freedom” seems to suffer from a similar recursive affliction. The act of escorting, intended to ensure passage, is perceived by one party as a violation. The solution, therefore, becomes the problem it sought to solve. The path taken, that of intervention, creates a phantom path, equally real, where non-intervention might have led to a different, perhaps equally insoluble, set of circumstances. The decision to act, to draw a new line on the map, does not resolve the bifurcation; it merely shifts the point of divergence. We are left with two parallel realities, both equally plausible, both equally inaccessible to direct experience, yet both undeniably shaping the present moment. The escort, then, is not merely a physical presence; it is a conceptual one, a line drawn that defines not only a passage but also its own potential obstruction.

Tuesday

The announcement of ‘Project Freedom’ to escort ships through the Strait has clarified a great deal. One had always wondered about the precise administrative status of a blockade. It appears it is not, as one might romantically suppose, a continuous wall of grim grey hulls, but rather a sort of intermittent bureaucratic condition, like a postal strike. Ships become ‘stuck’, a word which implies they have merely adhered to the geopolitical surface, like a sweet wrapper to a warm pavement. The American solution, therefore, is not to dissolve the adhesive, but to provide an escort. This is the municipal equivalent of sending out a man with a clipboard to walk beside the dropped wrapper, noting its progress and assuring passers-by that its movement is both sanctioned and orderly.

Iran’s complaint that this is a truce violation is, of course, the core of the matter. A truce, one must remember, is not a state of peace but a state of documented non-shooting. Introducing an authorised escort service into a documented non-shooting zone creates a new category of event: the chaperoned potential incident. It is no longer a matter of ‘you may not fire’, but ‘you may not fire at this specific vessel, which is currently under our official notice of protection’. The paperwork of conflict expands to include permission slips for safe passage. The next logical step is inevitable: a queue. Applications for escort slots, filed in triplicate, with waiting times published online, and a premium service for expedited review. The war continues, but it is now subject to a booking system. One misses the simplicity of the broadside.

June 21, 20XX

“Project Freedom.” Three syllables. Sounds like a summer blockbuster, doesn’t it? The kind where the hero - let’s say a square-jawed patriot in wraparound shades - kicks down doors and liberates something. Only in this case, the thing being “liberated” is oil tankers. And the doors being kicked down? Well, those would be international waters.

They used to call this “gunboat diplomacy.” Two words. You could picture it - some admiral in a crisp uniform pointing at a map, saying “Send the boats.” Now it’s “Project Freedom,” which sounds like a Kickstarter for a new app. “Help free up ships,” they say. Free them from what? Geography? Physics? The fact that Iran exists?

And let’s talk about “truce violation.” That’s the phrase Iran’s using. Truce. Like this is some Wild West showdown where both sides put their guns down at high noon. There was never a truce. There’s just the long, slow grind of empire pretending it’s not empire.

The Strait of Hormuz isn’t stuck. It’s a stretch of water. Ships move through it every day. The only thing being “freed up” here is the path to escalation. But sure, slap a brand name on it. Call it “Operation Enduring Marketing.”

Because that’s what this is - a PR campaign with missiles. And the best part? They’ll keep changing the name until no one remembers what we were even shooting about.